Because I Said So. is the end of an era.
Simply put, Because I Said So. is about taking full control of my life. Taking accountability for my need for healing.
Underrated Gem. Definitely worth the read.
Because I Said So. (or BISS. for short) is the full circle wrap-up to the poetry trilogy. BISS. felt like a farewell to all the anger and sadness in my heart. I began to forgive myself fully. I let go of the things that were hurting me and chose to focus on being a better man.
At the time of the release, life had gotten hard for me as I was diagnosed with a disease called diverticulitis (a disease that drastically affects the state of my colon), and I was mainly focused on releasing the book by any means necessary without losing myself. As a result, there wasn’t a lot of marketing for the book except for a few teasers throughout the year and an announcement that it was coming out.
BISS. didn’t sell as much as the previous books, but nonetheless, it is my favorite in the trilogy because of what it symbolizes in my journey. Because I Said So., helped me place power in my word and art.
Underrated Gem. Definitely worth the read. I’ll die on this hill.
A Fresh Start.
If I could start over,
I’d hover over to my closet,
and throw out anything that’s tarnished
into a trash can that’s farthest from my home.
I’d make new friends,
and see how my life would’ve been
if I’d had been cool with the homies
who only wanted to see my win
and respected my privacy and dire needs of transparency.
I’d be more than a poet and would learn to play a instrument,
It’d be dope if no one knows it,
so I can steal the show and perform to awaken people out of comas,
and cure the beautiful people who got the Rona.
I’d handle my money better.
I wouldn’t buy all those subway sandwiches,
and see how a home cooked meal manages,
I’d see what happens if I save all those $7.81 bills,
and kept it real with myself and bought moms a new purse,
but for what it’s worth,
I’m sure she knows I love her regardless.
Most importantly, I’d let go of the past,
cause that’s the last thing that can help me now,
I wonder how do some people heal so easy,
I wish it was as easy for me,
so all I can worry about is a fresh squeezed lemon ice tea,
with the people who’s dreams are as grand as the woman or the man that made them,
I gave them my heart and made good use of it,
I came so far, and I’m still getting used to it,
a fresh start would be nice, I just gotta get to it.
554.
Purple makes me think of you,
and without a clue, this purple sweater gets me telling the truth,
that I want you to be with me,
as far as I can see,
you are as full of beauty as my dreams make it seem,
you sparkle like the stars that were born like you,
filled with wisdom and ever growing youth in your spirit,
I just hope I don’t crash when I get near it,
your voice brings happiness when I hear it,
when it comes to rejection, I fear it.
I’ve been working on my myself,
improving my health,
accumulating my wealth,
feeling all that needs to be felt,
especially how I feel about you,
and the idea would be cool
if we could sit by a pool in the summer,
or if I can study your heart and mind like I’m in school.
I think we’ll be fine if we have each other,
even if we don’t end up as lovers,
I know there’s nothing above her,
because as long as I love her,
everything should be alright.
As time flies,
all I can think about is how your life impacted mine,
how your being is so sublime,
even when the world is falling apart,
I know it’ll all be fine,
cause the time I’ve spent with you,
brings so much light to my heart,
I can’t stand to be apart from you,
I just hope you know my words true.
Transitions.
Blank face on birthdays,
funerals, where my homies lay,
not in the ground, but in the crowd,
dark clouds over my state of mind,
hoping the next funeral isn’t mine.
I just hope I find the time to let people know to stay on that grind,
keep going, and don’t forget to shine,
find love, even when there’s no light,
fight, but make sure to heal through the night,
and wake up ready to be divine.
I lost sight of being hopeful,
all the sad that I had to go through,
and now I’m sitting here remembering how blessed I am,
to have a home cooked meal,
when there’s people out there that can’t feel,
to have a car,
knowing some won’t ever make it this far,
knowing I got homies amongst the stars,
including Granny, who I send my most kind regards.
-ism.
I tried to save everyone,
and realized that can’t be done,
that being alive isn’t always fun,
but my desire to be dead is at “none”.
I just wanna chill and be done,
I wanna have time to go on runs
and not worry children with guns
filled with liquid confidence,
wondering where common sense went,
and why we all bent out of shape,
left with empty souls, no heros,
no capes,
but left with liquor, so we can escape.
One of the scarier “isms”,
as we become the carriers of burden,
cause it isn’t certain that we’ll see next Thursday,
Feeling the worse way,
as I lay and envision my grave,
terrified of the lack of dismay,
I seen this coming for the past few days,
it’s been raining and just felt stuck in the shade,
I’m dying and it didn’t start today.
